On the road again…it’s so great to be on the road again… I can still hear Willy Nelson singin’ that song in my head. And it was so great to be on a road trip to the mountains -my home- with my kids on Christmas day. Having been there and come home, and getting back into “real life” again I’ve realized a couple of things.
- Mountain air and that blue-blue sky have filled my tank. I have been renewed and refreshed. I long for the day I return to them again. But, home is not there. Home is where my husband is (who could not come on this trip).
- Drive…that’s what I had when I was sick. I had drive to be well. Drive for health. Now that I have attained healing from my chronic illness, I do not have that same drive. I have “lost my muchness” in a way.
- On the road of life, as my son’s psychologist put it yesterday, we have three brains that can be “driving our car” -survival, feeling, and thinking. We want the thinking brain to be driving as much of the time as possible. Huh. I had been in survival and feeling for a long time, in my illness. I’m glad to be able to think again. I’m easily awed by all the things there are to think.
Now I have a question: Where do I go from here? (OK, one more): Is this sense that a change is in the air just me finding myself again after my illness, or is there a change coming? Only the Lord knows. And that is a good thing.