“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I need it most.” -Swedish Proverb.
It’s on my fridge. And in my head…a lot lately. A few seconds too late, usually.
I love my children dearly. I just can’t stand to be around them sometimes. Daily.
As I’ve contemplated blogging this week, I could have written a lot about just them. How their sensory needs and cravings overwhelm my sensory twitchiness in our battle to co-exist. And that’s leaving out interactions with my husband. We are a loving family; we are contradictory to one another too. It’s not their fault I don’t cope so well with medication, ongoing illness, and the stress of our lives. But, neither do they. We are praying and working on it. So, as I put them to bed last night, singing my girl to sleep as she held my hand, and then giggling with my son about dog farts in the night (he’s eight…) and then shuffling my I.V. pole back to the couch to finish my 4 hours of drips, I thought I’d better claim the joys that are mine with these two. And fight to overcome my body’s resistance to touch, so I can actually snuggle with my husband who deeply craves it. We need each other.
We just got the results from Igenex labs in California. Like a carrier monkey, I’ve infected all of them with Lyme bacteria (dare I wonder what else?). I’m not surprised by their results. At all. It explains things nothing else does. The extra aches (head & tummy in the kids, joints and more in hubby). The development “hitches” that happened in the womb with each kid. And what we’ve dealt with because of them. Nothing catastrophic, thankfully. We have so much to be thankful that we CAN do.
So how do we react to this knowledge? We pray for a plan. Not many doctors consider Lyme to be this infectious, and don’t even recognize that it outlasts a month on antibiotics. Yet here we all are, walking evidence that the bacteria are spread through the placenta, and sexually transmitted. Unless we’ve all had tick bites that gave us the same strain, ever since we have been a family. This is a game changer. Suddenly being “over” dealing with all my meds, the costs, and the feeling blah, and the pains, I feel it differently. Now I ache to prevent my kids from having what I deal with or worse. And get my husband relief from the attacks on his body. And to show our story to the CDC, to IDSA, to doctors who claim Lyme is no big deal, easily manageable and gotten over in a month or so.
I am trying to research again, and found this on Lymestop.com:
Can someone with Lyme infect a member of their family? Yes. Lyme has been found in breast milk and has also been shown to pass thru the placenta. If you had Lyme disease when you gave birth, it is very possible that your child may have become infected.
It is also possible for you to infect a sexual partner. It was originally assumed that the Borrelia spirochete, a cousin to Syphilis, could not be sexually transmitted. However, a study announced in the summer of 2013 revealed that women with Lyme disease tested positive for Borrelia in vaginal secretions while about half of the men with Lyme disease tested for positive for Borrelia in semen samples. When one married couple tested positive for Lyme disease with the exact same strain of Borrelia, researchers were led to believe that the Lyme was sexually transmitted. The unknown factors of sexual transmission may help in explaining the exponential increase in new cases of Lyme disease (underestimated by the CDC at 300,000 each year).
If you are concerned about any member of your family, we will be happy to provide them with a complimentary brief Lyme (Borrelia) screening test.
At least someone offers some real information, and a willingness to help a little (maybe a trip to Idaho to talk to them?).
Just how many people have this bacteria, even if they’ve never had a bug bite? How many were born with it? How much bacteria makes us sick? How sick does it make us?
I do not begin to dare to say it’s like my whole family has cancer, and so many people all around the world suffer so much more than we do, I cannot feel sorry for us. Truthfully, I’d much rather be helping those others than sorting how to care for my family. Raising funds for orphans from Rwanda, feeding the homeless, bring hope to the weary nations. But I didn’t get those others sick -I was never even able to give blood due to my anemia. No, I got my family sick. And if we don’t treat it, it will only cause more damage in their bodies. I just came ’round the mountain I am climbing (and thought I’d made it up a little but felt like I was slipping down each day) and I saw that there is an entire mountain range looming ahead.
I see Borrelia like sin -it corkscrews it’s way through our skin and into our lives, wreaks havoc and creates hiding places, feeding off our existence, turning us against ourselves -our own immune systems fighting us- causing us to despair, to rage, to isolate. We feel everything differently, and struggle because of it. And it spreads not only through outside means, biting us in our blindness to it, but also from within us into those we love by the very act of loving them.
Empowered, here we go… “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain ” – of the two, living is the harder. But worth it.