Healing takes time.
I do believe I’ve turned a corner. I am stronger, less tired, less dizzy (many days), and in less pain this few weeks. Yay!
I am learning again to stop on purpose. In feeling better, it is hard to say “no” to the urges to do things I’ve long been putting off doing. It is too easy to do just a little more than I should. And yet, I keep asking myself, “If I am doing better, why not DO more?” Work! DO stuff with the kids! Cook! Clean!
When I do feel too tired, then, from doing too much, and I get grumpy right when my kids and husband need and want my emotional warmth, I realize I’ve done too much. But, all things considered, look at where I am! I am on THREE antibiotics, with virtually no Jarish-Herxheimer reactions. I even let some sugars back into my diet, in limited amounts (following Lyme Inflammation Diet). This is cause for celebration!
So to celebrate, what sounds good to me? Stop and admire a jar with fleabane daisies in it.
Rake leaves with my kids (and sleep really hard that night and be sore the next day)!
Pray before making any decisions, so as to do only what I should do. No less, and no more.
There is an odd sort of wondering how long it will last. What may happen if I “go back to normal” routine, schedule, job, etc.? How I can be getting better, and others aren’t? What is making the difference (supplements, diet, antibiotics, prayer …all of it)? And, the symptoms I still deal with …are they always going to be here? Is this, to put it in this blog’s language, victory? Yes. Not complete. But victory. The leaf pile is my mountaintop this week.