I found this (left) image online. Love it. So much more than many other Lyme-focused images. Ticks are nasty looking. The rashes and disease aren’t much to look at either. The ribbons are OK (this one to the right is quite nice, with added good message), but this butterfly had some actual beauty to it, and function (it’s got two of my top three qualities!)
Just talked to a Doctor’s office in Washington DC area. I am going to work on getting there. Initial appointments cost about a grand. Treatment will be based on blood-work, analysis of my issues, and can be …well, lifelong, or at least a good many years. “Low and slow” the woman at the office said to me. She’s been under treatment for nine years herself. She spoke into me with these words: Lyme disease is also a spiritual issue. It causes you to face things you do not want to. For women, especially, the issue of saying ‘no’ and for me, the difficulty with asking for help. (Strike one and strike two for me, and for my husband in all of this!) I’m nailed. She gets it. She knows. She admitted that taking the pills every day reminds her that she isn’t perfect, has a disease she still fights. That is a hard pill to swallow. (Welcome to being human, I say. No-one is perfect, no matter how hard they try to convince themselves) Maybe one day, like her I will be able to do life fully, while being treated; and take “holidays” of a few weeks from meds once in a while. Maybe with this kind of insightful doctor working with me, I will figure out why my body isn’t rid of the symptoms, the bacteria, the issues. Maybe I can deal with the roadblocks in my system that are preventing my body from healing. Lord willing I will get there. It will take a small army to do it. (But that’s OK, the God of angel armies is always by my side! And, really, doing life takes a small army anyway. I would not be able to work at all, or go anywhere, nor would my kids be able to go to school, or my groceries be purchased or food made, if I did not have help. I owe some serious thanks. Perhaps another issue Lyme disease forces a person to face: the need for others; and the realization of just how much of life we really don’t do on our own, no matter how we may think we do. Humans live in communities, after all. Buses take kids to school where teachers and many others guide them. Companies have many employees, not just one. Churches are not just a pastor. Families are not a one-man show. Spirits are not strengthened succumbing to loneliness. Loneliness is meant to drive us closer to our Savior, who uses people to minister. We reach up. We get filled. We reach out.) Time for me to do some reaching. And hopefully time for me to fight the co-infections, and/or other immune system issues in my body. Lyme disease burrows in. It takes a long time to root it out. Low and slow. And with others’ help. So be it.